Open Book
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
For those of you that have known me a long time, you know that I have always been an open book. It's just who I am. I was always that kid at school who wasn't afraid to raise my hand when I had a question. I'm that friend you can ask how you look in an outfit and know you'll get an honest response. I've never been afraid or ashamed to speak my mind.
While I may be outspoken and very honest I don't think I'd be cast as the "mean girl" on a reality show either. You can be outspoken yet not be hurtful about it. I say what I think but, try to the best of my abilities to, say it in a loving way. I never, ever write on this blog intending to hurt someone. I do not write the things I do to offend or for shock value or hoping to be the topic of someones lunch break gossip. The words you read are the same words I would speak out loud if we were to have a conversation. Actually, in "real life" I'm probably even more open and sarcastic. I try to play down the sarcasm on here as I know tone is difficult to read into (hence why I have a MILLION smiley faces on each post and so many "hahas" that my own dad asked if you're supposed to actually say "ha ha" when you read it).
When I started blogging almost four years ago very few people read it and I know now more and more people are reading my posts. I started out keeping the blog just for my own personal journal. To reference someday when needed (which has been SO helpful already!) and for my children to have so they can someday reflect back on their lives from their mother's perspective. As it has evolved, I now also write it in hopes that I can help others. With parenting issues, spiritually, personally, in any way that I can. I am not a person of many talents. I can't draw. Or sing. I'm terrible at sports. However, I've always been a writer. I express myself best through writing and feel like this blog is my way to use the gift God has given me. It is my personal ministry.
I know some people may not like my openness. People have told me plenty of times that they could never be as open as I am. As public about such private things. Just because some people may not personally like what I have to say does not make it wrong or sinful for me to say it. That being said, I'm a work in progress just like everyone else. I hope what you see and read on my blog today is more mature, more God-focused, and more tactfully spoken than what you could go back and read from my entries four years ago. Or even six months ago. I'm constantly striving to improve in my personal walk with the Lord and that growth, I hope, is obvious here as well.
While I am a confident person, I in no way consider myself better than anyone else at all. If I am writing something that I am worried will be hurtful, I delete it. I edit my posts. I don't just write my thoughts and hit "publish." I read and re-read to make sure I'm not writing something that could possibly offend or hurt someone. I read SO many other blogs out there that these women write who don't worry about offending anyone and sometimes I envy them. It's not easy to try to walk that line of being truthful and honest yet also to not offend. And sometimes it's impossible (for example, my post on spanking probably offended some of you who don't believe in it but there is no way around that). I do my best and will continue to do so in the future.
With the evolution of this blog, and the readership that has come from it, I know some people out there don't read it because they are my friend, or because they like what I say, or because they are trying to learn something, or that they just want to see my kids pictures. Some people may be reading it in order to find the bad in it. To pick at me. To gossip about me. To take something I say and turn it into something I didn't intend for it to be. I'd love to be strong enough in my own skin to say that this doesn't bother me, but it does.
We are blessed to live in a world where we can make our own choices and decisions. We all come from different walks of life and have had different experiences. We all have our own personal beliefs on what is appropriate and inappropriate. Personally, I find a lot of what I see on facebook to be inappropriate. Many of my "friends" will post status updates with swear words. Pictures of them partying it up and being obviously drunk. Comments that talk negatively about God or put down those who follow Him. I am offended by such things. They aren't personal attacks on me in any way but I surely don't like to read them or see them. I have the choice to stop being "friends" with those people. I have the choice to not look at their pages or to read their posts. Same with blogging. There is a famous blogger out there that I don't follow. She talks negatively about God quite often and I no longer read her blog or have a link to it on my sidebar. If you read this blog and you don't personally like what you read, you also have a choice. I in no way force anyone to read this. I post a link to my facebook page every time I update the blog. It's pretty easy to simply not click the link.
All of that being said, I do truly care about anyone who may have ever read anything I've written and has been hurt by it in any way. I hate the idea of hurting someone. I especially hate that thought that I could be causing someone to sin. Romans 14:13 says: "Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister" If the things I say here cause anyone to talk bad about me or gossip in someway then I'm causing them to sin.
I urge anyone who has ever been offended or hurt by anything I have written here, or who may become offended or hurt by something in the future, to please contact me. Together we can talk about it. It seriously eats away at me to think that I could possibly hurt someone and not even know it. I assure you it has never been intentional and I'm sure, if such a situation arises, that we can work it out. I will apologize if needed and rectify the situation if at all possible. Matthew 18:15 says "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over."
My personal email address is deliasgoddess33{at}aol{dot}com (I know it's lame...but I made it up when I was 13 and I was OBSESSED with the Delia's clothing catalog haha).
While I never want to offend or hurt anyone, I will also never stop being myself. This is my blog. My story. I refuse to ever stop being open, upfront, and honest. I am proud of the blog entries I have written. Zach reads each post and he, too, is proud. My parents get emailed updates of each blog entry I write and they are proud of me. I know that for every email I may start getting regarding being upset or offended, that I'll have had ten more from people who my openness has helped.
Thank you to all of you who choose to continue down this journey with me!
While I may be outspoken and very honest I don't think I'd be cast as the "mean girl" on a reality show either. You can be outspoken yet not be hurtful about it. I say what I think but, try to the best of my abilities to, say it in a loving way. I never, ever write on this blog intending to hurt someone. I do not write the things I do to offend or for shock value or hoping to be the topic of someones lunch break gossip. The words you read are the same words I would speak out loud if we were to have a conversation. Actually, in "real life" I'm probably even more open and sarcastic. I try to play down the sarcasm on here as I know tone is difficult to read into (hence why I have a MILLION smiley faces on each post and so many "hahas" that my own dad asked if you're supposed to actually say "ha ha" when you read it).
When I started blogging almost four years ago very few people read it and I know now more and more people are reading my posts. I started out keeping the blog just for my own personal journal. To reference someday when needed (which has been SO helpful already!) and for my children to have so they can someday reflect back on their lives from their mother's perspective. As it has evolved, I now also write it in hopes that I can help others. With parenting issues, spiritually, personally, in any way that I can. I am not a person of many talents. I can't draw. Or sing. I'm terrible at sports. However, I've always been a writer. I express myself best through writing and feel like this blog is my way to use the gift God has given me. It is my personal ministry.
I know some people may not like my openness. People have told me plenty of times that they could never be as open as I am. As public about such private things. Just because some people may not personally like what I have to say does not make it wrong or sinful for me to say it. That being said, I'm a work in progress just like everyone else. I hope what you see and read on my blog today is more mature, more God-focused, and more tactfully spoken than what you could go back and read from my entries four years ago. Or even six months ago. I'm constantly striving to improve in my personal walk with the Lord and that growth, I hope, is obvious here as well.
While I am a confident person, I in no way consider myself better than anyone else at all. If I am writing something that I am worried will be hurtful, I delete it. I edit my posts. I don't just write my thoughts and hit "publish." I read and re-read to make sure I'm not writing something that could possibly offend or hurt someone. I read SO many other blogs out there that these women write who don't worry about offending anyone and sometimes I envy them. It's not easy to try to walk that line of being truthful and honest yet also to not offend. And sometimes it's impossible (for example, my post on spanking probably offended some of you who don't believe in it but there is no way around that). I do my best and will continue to do so in the future.
With the evolution of this blog, and the readership that has come from it, I know some people out there don't read it because they are my friend, or because they like what I say, or because they are trying to learn something, or that they just want to see my kids pictures. Some people may be reading it in order to find the bad in it. To pick at me. To gossip about me. To take something I say and turn it into something I didn't intend for it to be. I'd love to be strong enough in my own skin to say that this doesn't bother me, but it does.
We are blessed to live in a world where we can make our own choices and decisions. We all come from different walks of life and have had different experiences. We all have our own personal beliefs on what is appropriate and inappropriate. Personally, I find a lot of what I see on facebook to be inappropriate. Many of my "friends" will post status updates with swear words. Pictures of them partying it up and being obviously drunk. Comments that talk negatively about God or put down those who follow Him. I am offended by such things. They aren't personal attacks on me in any way but I surely don't like to read them or see them. I have the choice to stop being "friends" with those people. I have the choice to not look at their pages or to read their posts. Same with blogging. There is a famous blogger out there that I don't follow. She talks negatively about God quite often and I no longer read her blog or have a link to it on my sidebar. If you read this blog and you don't personally like what you read, you also have a choice. I in no way force anyone to read this. I post a link to my facebook page every time I update the blog. It's pretty easy to simply not click the link.
All of that being said, I do truly care about anyone who may have ever read anything I've written and has been hurt by it in any way. I hate the idea of hurting someone. I especially hate that thought that I could be causing someone to sin. Romans 14:13 says: "Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister" If the things I say here cause anyone to talk bad about me or gossip in someway then I'm causing them to sin.
I urge anyone who has ever been offended or hurt by anything I have written here, or who may become offended or hurt by something in the future, to please contact me. Together we can talk about it. It seriously eats away at me to think that I could possibly hurt someone and not even know it. I assure you it has never been intentional and I'm sure, if such a situation arises, that we can work it out. I will apologize if needed and rectify the situation if at all possible. Matthew 18:15 says "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over."
My personal email address is deliasgoddess33{at}aol{dot}com (I know it's lame...but I made it up when I was 13 and I was OBSESSED with the Delia's clothing catalog haha).
While I never want to offend or hurt anyone, I will also never stop being myself. This is my blog. My story. I refuse to ever stop being open, upfront, and honest. I am proud of the blog entries I have written. Zach reads each post and he, too, is proud. My parents get emailed updates of each blog entry I write and they are proud of me. I know that for every email I may start getting regarding being upset or offended, that I'll have had ten more from people who my openness has helped.
Thank you to all of you who choose to continue down this journey with me!
